It wasn't obvious. I was thinking that he was some random, young ranger...which he actually was! *grin*
All right, then. It's just two things, and you're free to disagree with me. :)
1. The last sentence of the beginning paragraph stuck out when I was reading it. I even read it out loud, and it still stuck out. It didn't exactly fit with the previous sentences, IMO. If the sentence were fleshed out, more detail written to make it relate to the entire paragraph, it wouldn't stick out.
2. Le hannon, mellon nin. "Nin" means "me," not "my," which could either be "nín" or "nîn." I used write it as "nin," too, until I was told otherwise.
That's all for nit-picks, though. Your writing is clear and easy to read, and I enjoy it.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2008-08-05 04:38 pm (UTC)All right, then. It's just two things, and you're free to disagree with me. :)
1. The last sentence of the beginning paragraph stuck out when I was reading it. I even read it out loud, and it still stuck out. It didn't exactly fit with the previous sentences, IMO. If the sentence were fleshed out, more detail written to make it relate to the entire paragraph, it wouldn't stick out.
2. Le hannon, mellon nin. "Nin" means "me," not "my," which could either be "nín" or "nîn." I used write it as "nin," too, until I was told otherwise.
That's all for nit-picks, though. Your writing is clear and easy to read, and I enjoy it.